Paypal has made it possible to quickly and easily send money over the Internet. This allows us to pay for all kinds of purchases with a lot less hassle. It also will allow you, everyone who reads this article, to send me, Timothy Ward, $1.00.
Being the cynics that you are, I know you're probably asking: "Why should I send you $1.00? I barely even know you. If I hadn't somehow stumbled onto this article, I wouldn't even have known that you exist. I still don't know how I came across this ridiculous article—I was trying to find nagahoki88 slot tips."
Since I know that humanoids are by nature untrusting, and I know that you can spare the dollar, I will now generously provide 8 reasons why you should immediately Paypal me a buck. I don't think I'll need more than 5 reasons, but I like to give people their money's worth. Plus, I have a word count to think about. So without further ado:
(1) It’s better than spending it on something useless—like bills.
Sending me $1.00 will keep you from wasting it on something pointless like the mortgage payment. You've been faithfully paying on that nagahoki88 mortgage for years—it’s time you had a break. And it'll only cost you a single greenback.
(2) A good deed a day keeps the guilt away.
Donating to a worthy cause can give you peace of mind, which, in turn, will help you sleep better at night. Giving me a dollar may not be as worthy a cause as, say, giving to the Red Cross, but I promise I will sleep better tonight and many nights thereafter if you send me that dollar.
(3) I’m not a guy begging outside a gas station.
If I were sitting in front of a gas station, smelling of cheap wine and wearing the same clothes I had on when I lost my job 8 months ago, you wouldn’t even consider giving me a dollar. You would probably tell me, "Get a job, ya bum!" and then rapidly walk away, clutching your wallet tightly. I, however, am not sitting in front of a gas station. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, checking out nagahoki88 login and changing my clothes at least once a week.
(4) I need some Bling Bling!
You're just not in the game if you don’t have diamonds in your ears and ice on your neck and wrists. Plus, I know a guy who’ll give me a great deal on some gold teeth. But I need more cheese.
(5) Your donation supports art—kind of.
Many great artists in history have depended on donations to finance their masterpieces. Your sending me $1.00 will allow me to do the necessary research for a masterpiece of an article that I'm working on called: "Going Out on Saturday Night and Getting Sloppy Drunk Using Other People’s Money." I’ll be sure to acknowledge you at the end.
(6) It’s better than letting your spouse waste it.
Fellas, would you rather send me a dollar, or have your wife spend it on yet another pair of black heels? Ladies, would you rather your husband spend it on another one of those aboutmovie.org magazines that he keeps in that box in his workshop? I thought not.
(7) You’ve already wasted time—what’s another dollar?
Time is money. You’re already wasting money by taking time to read this article. Another George Washington won’t kill you.
(8) Support the future of free content!
The pens and paper I use to write these articles don’t pay for themselves. My high-speed Internet connection that I use to upload these articles isn’t free. I don’t think $1.00 is too much to ask after the scores of articles I have written and shared with all of cyberspace. After all, if it wasn’t for my articles, you wouldn’t appreciate the good articles written by others.
So there you have it, folks—8 reasons to send me $1.00 via Paypal. As I suspected, most of you were sold after Reason #5. I appreciate you waiting patiently until I finished with the remaining reasons before rushing over to Paypal.com.
Comments
Post a Comment